Thursday, January 10, 2013

Something Out Of Nowhere -9-


Standing in the middle of their kitchen with the confusion of what icing to put on her perfectly baked cupcakes, Hadeel finally decided to put the strawberry flavored red one to perfect her chocolate delights.  She started with one then two then finished all 24 cupcakes. She thought to herself “I know he’ll love them, he’s always loved the cupcakes I helped my mother make and he’d never eat except the ones I designed” with that memory strolling through her mind she let out a wide grin and placed the cupcakes on a tray and waited for him to get back from his day at work.
She waited, and waited until the day began to darken but she wouldn’t think about anything other than his delight when he sees what she made him. He wasn’t a lover but he meant the world, and he wasn’t just a friend that comes and goes with time. He was there always and she knew that he’d never leave her side. A sudden rush of guilt went through her as she recollected the days they did not speak and she wished with everything that she could take every second of everyday back. As more memories came hurrying soon after, she heard a car gradually coming up the neighbor’s driveway and jumped out of her seat and headed to the door.
Hadeel popped the door open and peaked outside, when she saw that it was the car she’s been waiting for all along she stepped out onto the porch. Mansoor was just turning the switch to turn the car off when he saw her. In blue jeans and a very childish but very attractive pink t-shirt, she was the prettiest sight he’s ever laid eyes on. As soon as Hadeel saw him looking her way she waved and so did he. He grabbed the gift box and stepped out of the car after turning it off, trying his best that Hadeel doesn’t notice what’s in his hand.
Hadeel waited on the porch for Mansoor to make his way up to her. She smiled so wide that she actually thought that she might tear a muscle. Her joy to see him was incredible, knowing that they’re back, back to being the most important people in each other’s lives, back to being each other’s rock and she wanted nothing else.
He made his way up not wanting his eyes to leave hers, wanting to hold her in his arms and never let go. To him, he loved her and he knew it. To him, she was the only girl in the world. To him, she is the girl he wants to marry. Mansoor looked at her with eyes filled with need and love, filled with care and passion and he wanted nothing else.
“Hello Beautiful” He whispered.
“Hi Handsome” Hadeel said, blushing.
“Close your eyes”
She did as he asked and felt her heart racing to what was coming ahead. He took the palm of her hand in his, gently caressed the linings on the inside of it, taking in every emotion she is feeling and making it his. He held her hand for a minute and never wanted to let go. With her eyes still closed he moved his right arm from behind his back and placed the gift bag on her palm. Hadeel’s eyes shot open in surprise and she kept staring at the bag with confusion.
His lips slowly curved into a smile then he said “For the past two birthdays”
Then his smile quickly faded
“I know I wasn’t there when I should’ve been, but I’m here now. Not a day has passed when I didn’t think I should be here instead of upstairs in my room regretting that I did not try my best to get you back. I promise, with every inch of me I promise, that from this minute forward I will be here, I will not give you the chance to need anything, I will be your rock. You will say jump and my only response would be how high. I promise that from this day on I will not let anything harm you.”
He said still holding her hand and staring into her eyes.
She moved the gift back from her palm and placed it onto the floor. Without any second of hesitation she pushed herself into his chest and put her arms around him. Mansoor froze not knowing what to do but knowing that this is all he ever wanted, all he ever wished for. He moved his arms and wrapped them around Hadeel and just stood there… holding her. Everything around them froze, everything except their feelings. At that moment Hadeel realized that this is what she wanted for the rest of her life. This hug, this warmth, this … PERSON.  She knew now that what she felt wasn’t friendship love. It was that love. The same love people write about in novels and others witness in movies. Hadeel loved Mansoor.
Once they let go of each other, which seemed like centuries later, Hadeel said “Well guess what!” still staring into his big dark eyes.
“Tell me”
“I have something for you too”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, but we need to go inside”
They held each other’s hands as they walked into the house, and once he stepped in he smelled it. Her surprise. The baking essence filled the room and a smile broke out of his lips.
“You didn’t!” he said with a sense of delight.
“You’ve always loved them”
“And you’ve always made the best ones” he kissed her forehead gently, when the front door shot open and Humaid, Hadeel’s brother, stepped out from behind it.


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Monday, December 3, 2012

Something Out Of Nowhere -8-


He was very wrapped up in his work trying to finish everything he had to do to go home as early as possible. Why? Well to see her of course. Since he’d seen her last he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He couldn’t stop imagining her face and feeling her touch on his arm. He heard her voice everywhere he went, and her laugh was so mesmerizing that whenever he turned a corner he could swear he could hear her laughing on the other side. For a moment, he thought that he might be going crazy, but that same moment he realized how much he was madly in love with her.
“You done yet?” a sudden voice said from behind the door that pulled Mansoor back to earth like gravity.
“uh, no not yet. Just a couple more papers and I’m heading home”
“Alright, just pass by my office once you’re done so I could see them.”
“Sure”
and as soon as Patricia, Mansoor’s English boss, left he breathed out a sigh of relief.
An hour later Mansoor was done with the papers and has already dropped them at Patricia’s desk. As he made his way to his car he had an idea that he thought Hadeel might like. So he got in his car and drove to the nearest mall…

Back at Hadeel’s house
There it was, the black range rover again. Who the hell is that? This car has been here all morning, are we expecting anyone today? Hadeel thought to herself as she stared out the window.
And just seconds later, her curiosity was too much for her to bear so she fixed her hair into a bun, opened the front door and walked towards the car.

Is she coming this way? Oh god what should I do? Should I just drive off? No no, I want to talk to her. Alright then, I’ll talk to her. The car passenger thought as Hadeel approached the vehicle.

She got to the car and noticed how terribly tinted it was, it was impossible to see anyone sitting inside, so she thought she’ll just knock on the window, and right before she did, it rolled down and behind appeared a very handsome man with a full beard, wide brown eyes and short, very attractive, hair.

“Hi, can I help you?” she asked trying not to sound like she’s totally drooling over him in her mind.
“Well hello, I’m Khalid and you are?”
“Hadeel, sorry but your car has been parked here a very long time, were you waiting for someone?”
“Actually, yeah. My friend’s your neighbor, you know? Mansoor… and I was just waiting for him to get back from work.” He tried to come up with the most believable excuse, and this was all he thought of.
“Oh ok then, sorry for bothering you” she said hesitantly.
“No it’s fine, a girl like you can bother me any day.” Of course Khalid was known to be the flirt in the gang, and well, he didn’t hesitate with trying a pickup line on her.
Hadeel was a little shocked and a little happy with the attempt but after all he was her, soon to be resurrected, best friend’s friend. So she wouldn’t even think about it.

She got in the house and approximately an hour later the car and the very handsome guy left. She was surprise that he left when Mansoor didn’t yet come back, but then discarded the thought by thinking he’s gotten bored. What she didn’t really know was that the only reason the car was parked her all along was because of her.

The Dubai Mall
Mansoor walked into all the women’s shop and the unisex ones, the famous brand shops and the cheap ones, he was all over the mall looking for two very special gifts for a certain special lady friend of his.
He’d already gotten her a Louis Vuitton bracelet, so now he was looking for something else he could buy her. He walked into CH thinking that it’s the perfect place to find some very feminine gifts. Once he was in he started looking around admiring a lot of things at once and that’s when he spotted the perfect purple wallet for the girl he was so crazy about. Without any hesitation he asked the sales clerk to get him the wallet and gift-wrap it so he could take it straight to Hadeel.  

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Something Out Of Nowhere -7-


One half of me is yours, the other half yours, 
Mine own, I would say; but if mine, then yours, 
And so all yours.
-William Shakespeare

Mansoor walked making his way to the patio when he heard a rumble from next door. He quickly looked and saw Hadeel also making her way to the door when the load she was carrying crashed into the ground. He involuntarily paced towards her to offer help. As he made his way he stopped for a second and wondered, should I? Maybe I should just go back, he thought. But then, two seconds later he decided he wouldn’t waste anymore time hoping for something to happen. So he went on… he reached for a box that was on the ground with a million things that found their way out of it. He gathered everything trying not to say a word and once he was finished he lifted the box and said, “Can I help you take them in?”
For a minute she was stunned, two whole years have passed and they did not say a word to each other and now he’s asking if he can help her get the boxes in her house? But then again, nothing was his fault. Why was she treating him this way? She never knew. After a long silent minute of stares and absent mindedness she replied “Umm, yeah sure. Come in.”
Hadeel unlocked the door very carefully to not drop anything else on the floor, and led him to the living room.
“You can put the box right here.” Gesturing to the wide coffee table in the middle of the room
“Alright”

As he walked past her in his pearly white thob and messy hair caused by the long hours being covered by the ghetra and egal, which he threw in the backseat of his car as usual. His scent found it’s way to Hadeel. Once she took a deep breathe, nostalgia hit her. Every single good or bad memory with him crossed her mind. She wanted to hug him right then and there. She stopped herself though. She took another deep breath trying to capture every essence of him. She missed him, she knew that. But she would never have the nerve to let him know. After all, she was the one that pushed him away all these years. Mansoor put the box carefully on the coffee table and started brushing his hands over his thob to clean it, as he stood straight. Once he made sure that it was spotless he turned around to face her.
“Anything else you need help with?” he said with a light curve in his lips.
“No, that’s the last of the boxes.”
“Oh ok.” He stood there, hoping that this wouldn’t end like this, that they would talk a bit more.

“Umm well, thank you for the help.” She said to break the silence as she gestured towards the box.
“Yeah sure, no problem.” He realized that what he hoped for wouldn’t happen, so he started making his way to the door.
Hadeel followed him silently. She watched him step out the door and she knew deep inside she didn’t want him to leave.

“Mansoor” She said almost as soon as he stepped out.
He turned around. “Yeah?”
“Would you like something to eat? I was just going to make me a sandwich.” she asked hesitantly.
He stood for a minute as if arguing with himself if he should or should not stay. But then said “Only if it’s the turkey sandwich you used to make me when we were kids.”

He blurted the words, and soon after Hadeel’s cheeks turned into the brightest shade of pink. She smiled and led him to the kitchen quietly. After pouring both of them a glass of water, Mansoor sat at the kitchen table while Hadeel made the sandwiches. He couldn’t believe it; he was finally back into her house. The house that held a million beautiful memories, the house they played hide and seek in, and watched movies all day. The house he so badly wanted to be in more than a couple of time these past two years. And now he was in again. But what to do now? Was this just a thank gesture for helping her with the box or did she want to catch up with him. Did she want to get back to being the best friend he knew his whole life? Or was it just a hello and goodbye kind of thing. He didn’t know what to think. But hey, he was in her house, now it time to take matters into his own hands.

“So, how have you been?” he asked, hoping to start a conversation.
“I’ve been good, and you?”
“Am managing.”
She finished making the sandwiches and sat facing him on the kitchen table. That was when she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She wanted to know everything about him, everything that has been happening for the past few years, how was he, how was his parents, his brothers, she wanted to know every single detail. And he was nothing but thrilled about it. He sat there talking for hours none stop. Like it’ll all be over the next day, like they want to enjoy each other’s company before the day ends and whatever this is, ends with it. They kept talking and laughing, and every once in a while she would laugh and put her hand on his arm, and that’s when his heart would skip a beat. He smile, she laughed. He talked, she replied. And that’s how it was for 3 straight hours. Since her dad was working late that night and her brother was out with his friends, and her little sisters was at her cousin’s, the house was very quiet and they were alone. After talking for three hours, they both suddenly went silent. She looked down at the table and the empty plates while he looked at her. He kept staring at her and trying to download as much of her as he can into his mental hard drive, so that if this never happens again, he would remember how her long brown hair swayed when she talked and moved, also how her eyes would widen when she would tell an exciting story, and how her lips would move emphasizing every word she says. Everything about her was breathtaking and he couldn’t help but notice that.

“I’ve missed you so much” he whispered, in conflict of whether he should say so or not.
She looked up at him, eyes red from the tears she tried pushing back. “I miss you too.” She said with an even lower voice.

After a minute or so of silence, they got back to talking about everything in their lives and how they both have been, until it got dark outside. And that was a sign for Mansoor to leave.
He waved goodbye as he walked down the patio stairs and said, “We’ll talk soon, I hope.”
She smiled and replied “No doubt about it.”
Mansoor practically flew home and on to his bed thinking about nothing but her until he was sound asleep. And Hadeel? She had a weird feeling in her tummy that she couldn’t explain. But, it made her happy, and for the first time since the accident she felt that she didn’t have to let out her sadness on a paper because today she wasn’t feeling sad. She smiled wide, and went to sleep.


In The Other Neighborhood
Now I see why he’s crazy about her. She’s beautiful. Oh god why can’t I stop thinking about her? This is not right! I have to see her again, I just have to.

Khalid tried pushing out the thoughts of her, but alas, he couldn’t… that day, he went to sleep thinking about the girl he saw. Hadeel.


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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Something Out Of Nowhere -6-


Dancing in the moonlight, holding her very close and never wanting to let go. She sank very deep into his eyes and wondered. how did I get so lucky? He straightened his arm and she twirled out and then back and drowned into his chest. She hugged him as they swayed to the sound of the gentle music in the background. They danced with no one around, just the two of them. They know that this was meant to be; they knew that they wanted each other, not just for now… but forever.
Mansoor woke up. Upset that he did and very glad that he dreamt of her. The only person he’s ever wanted to be with. With a smile on his face he got up and got ready for the day ahead. It was Sunday and to everyone, Sundays are the worst, first day of the week and that meant that he had to go to work. He got all cleaned up and dressed and headed downstairs to have his breakfast.
“Good morning” Said his mum. “You look very happy, anything good happened last night?”
He went to her and kissed her forehead and smiled, “Nope, I just saw the most beautiful face. You.” he winked at her and took his place on the breakfast table. As he started picking out things to eat from the wide variety of food in front of him, his two brothers came down. Each with what seemed like blown up hair and Pajamas.
“Well don’t you two look… umm… sleepy?” Mansoor commented with a smirk.
“Shut up, pass the eggs.” replied Hamad, yawning.
They all laughed and continued their breakfast peacefully.
After Mansoor got to work his boss handed him a bunch of papers to finish up and he was going through them thoroughly until he got Khalid’s call.
“Hey dude listen, come out I’m at your place dropping of your shirt that you left at my place last night.” Khalid said through the phone.
“Khalood are you kidding? I’m at work. Call one of my brothers and they’ll come out for you”
“Oh I totally forgot, alright alright. Later.”
“Bye”


Khalid stepped out of his car and walked towards Mansoor’s house after talking to one of his brothers. Once he got to the patio the door opened and Hamad came out still just as he was during breakfast. Khalid smiled and handed him the shirt, they chatted for a while about Hamad’s university and how it was going and then he left. As he was walking towards his car he turned around to see Hadeel’s house. Why have I never seen the girl that Mansoor always talks about? He wondered. He was suddenly very curious, but didn’t know what to do about it. And just when he turned away to get in the car and leave. Hadeel came out in her trainers to go for a jog. She had her hair tied up in a ponytail and i-pod headphone in her ears.
He suddenly took a step backwards and kept looking at her, and when she caught him looking he turned around and got into the car. He placed both his hands on the stirring wheel, inhaled “Oh Wow.” And he exhaled.


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Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Something Out Of Nowhere -5-


I saw him today. The same person I gave up being friends with years ago. He looked at me the same way he did the last time we spoke. I couldn’t gather my nerves to say hi. I don’t know why. Please forgive me; please forgive me for all I’ve done. I’ve hurt you and I know it; I just can’t talk to people anymore, I’m not that same person you knew. Not the same girl who’d put all her worries behind her once she’s seen you. You’ve been the greatest friend, and that said, friends are never not friends if they’re apart. I still count you as mine, and I hope you feel the same way. Don’t hate me for what I’ve done; it’s not in my hands. I can’t tell you that I know how you feel nor can I be your friend anymore, only because I know that that’ll hurt you even more; to be friends with a person who’s not who you think she is. I hope you can forgive me.

Hadeel wrote down in her diary eagerly, wanting to let everything out. Since she saw him she felt guilty, and couldn’t shake the feeling that he hated her. Not only because of leaving him, but also because she saw him today and didn’t approach him at all, not even to say hi. She felt very bad and she wished that she could go back in time to fix her mistake; because now, if they talked it’ll only be awkward and it’ll never be the way it used to. Once something was broken it was hard to fix, and even if it was, it’ll never be as it used to.
She put the pen down trying to take a breath. She got up and walked to the window to open and get some air. But there he was. In his room sitting on the couch doing nothing… just nothing. He was sitting there, thinking maybe? What was he thinking about? She thought.

What are you thinking Mansoor? Are you thinking about those good old days? The days when you and I cared about nothing? When we did everything together? When people would always ask us if we ever fought? And when I used to cry when you took that very last cookie? You can’t even imagine how much I want those days to come back. I need you, but I can never say that. Not after everything. It’s hard for me, I hope you can understand that. Ever since the accident and every single thing has been hard for me to do. I hope you can understand, and that one day we can be friends again.

And that’s when he got up from the couch and came towards his window. He saw her standing there, absent minded but definitely looking his way. Was she watching me? He thought.
She came back to reality and saw him. Now they were both looking at each other. As awkward as it felt for Hadeel, she didn’t want to move, and neither did Mansoor. He put his palm on his damp window, and kept staring at her.  After a long internal conflict, so did she. She put her palm on her window, and stood there. They were reaching for each other. Each one of them knowing how hard it is to be without the other. Then, she gave him that same faint smile she gave him earlier, but now, he smiled back. Wanting her to understand how much he has missed her, he signaled for her to wait, and she did. He got a piece of paper and a marker, he wrote on the paper and then showed it to her. She slowly read and felt the tears accumulating in her eyes. She stood there for another minute. Then she smiled, and turned away.
He stood there… feeling good. Even though she didn’t reply he knew that he did a huge thing today and that gave him a sense of accomplishment. He knew that things are on the verge of changing. To the better, he hoped. He slept that night very satisfied, and for the first time in so long he slept smiling. And well Hadeel, spent all night on her bed thinking about what was written on that paper and hoping that he truly meant it. That one paper that held a million emotions. She closed her eyes imagining it. A plain white paper with simple letters that spelled “I Miss You”.


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Monday, August 13, 2012

Something Out Of Nowhere -4-


One breezy summer day, he was standing just in front of his house chilling with his friends. Of course, not being able to keep his eyes off of her house. He knew that in about 15 minutes she should be coming out to go to her grandmother’s just like she did every Saturday. As they were talking she was brought up and he was suddenly back in the conversation.
“So, she’s still not talking to you huh?” asked Mayed curious, after he noticed him staring at her house.
“What? No, why?” he answered, confused.
“Just wondering. Its weird how you guys don’t talk anymore, you were like the childhood love birds or something.” Mayed shrugged and turned around to continue another conversation with Abdullah.
But, Mansoor couldn’t help but dwell over the point his best friend just made.

Mansoor
Seriously, what did I ever do? She blocked me out when the time came when I was supposed to be there for her. Never talking to me again, like it was my fault or something. Why was it that she did that? Come on Hadeel. Talk to me. Come out and talk to me! Tell me how much you miss me and how much you miss spending time with me. Tell me what I did wrong for you to shut me out like this. I want to know. No, I need to know. I want to make it up for you. I want to be there for you. Was it just me, or did you shut everyone out as well?

“Hey!!” yelled Khaled, snapping his fingers in Mansoor’s face.
“Huh? What?” he replied, startled.
“Could you please forget about her? It’s hard enough that for the first few months after it happened you never came out with us. And now, two years later you’re still never really with us, always thinking about her.”

For a second he didn’t speak. He didn’t really know what to say; his friend was right. Ever since she stopped talking to him, he stopped feeling anything towards anyone but her. He stopped caring about his friends’ feelings. He also stopped going out with them as often as he used to… He used to always think that going out and talking to girls wouldn’t matter as long as she was by his side and that he knew she wouldn’t leave him no matter what he does. But now, when she’s really gone. He felt like he couldn’t just go out and have fun, merely because if he enjoyed his day he wanted to be able to tell her about it and she’d listen. They never really were together as a couple, but everyone thought they were; they hung out 24/7 and if they weren’t together they’d be on the phone talking to each other. Their parents didn’t really mind because they knew that the nature of their relationship was just a friendship and that they’ve been best friends since they were in diapers. Of course, their parents would sometimes tell them to try staying away from each other a bit because it did not look good to the people who didn’t know them. And god knows everyone told them the same thing, but it was simply impossible.

Mansoor stayed quiet for the rest of the conversation, and he only gave his opinion when needed.
Khalid felt like he was a bit harsh on him so when everyone left, he stayed behind to apologize.
“I’m sorry man. I didn’t mean to upset you. But seriously, you need a hit on the head to start coming back to reality, she’s not coming back and you need to get your head around that.” He said.
“Yeah well… You know, maybe you’re right. I do need to forget her.” Mansoor didn’t really believe what he just said, but he wanted to say anything for Khalid to stop talking about it.
“Well then, see you tonight yeah?”
“Sure”
Khalid left. And just when he did, she came out. With her hair tied up in a ponytail, a little make up and that very simple abaya, He thought she looked magnificent. He stared at her for a minute and as she walked by she caught him staring. She stood for a minute as if arguing with herself if she should say hello. But then… she just gave him a faint smile, and walked away.

And with that smile, hope was born.

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Saturday, August 11, 2012

Something Out Of Nowhere -3-


Ever since they were kids, he’s always chosen her to be his partner in games, or to do homework with when they came back from school. He always felt that it was her and no one else that can understand him. He knew that she didn’t know how he felt, nor she will ever know if he didn’t tell her. He always was the party guy, the guy who’s always out enjoying his night; he wasn’t much of a saint. He went to parties talked to girls, BUT they were never more than friends. He could never exceed that limit when it came to girls, and he always felt that as long as his parents met his “Girl” friends that it was fine. Well, then I guess now a days, that is a saint. But that does not change that fact that he was crazy for her. Hadeel. He woke up, thinking of her, and slept, thinking of her. Ever since they were kids until now. To him there was always that deep connection he never understood. That connection that won’t fade no matter how far she was and no matter how hard times have been for him, he can never forget her, not a single second. He knew he wanted her, but he didn’t care if he never saw her, nor did he care how she was dressed. He wanted her to love him back, to understand how he feels towards her. He has been living in this bubble since childhood, not really knowing if he’ll ever get out …

Dear diary,
I know this may sound a bit girlish, but I miss her. It’s not easy for me to open up and speak about my emotions; that’s why I write here. I write to let everything out. Not really about how my life is going or how I spent my day. I write about her. How beautiful she is, or how I remember when her eyes sparkle when she saw the ice cream truck when we were kids, or even how she cried because I took the last cookie. Although it killed me to see her cry, but there was something about her eyes when it was filled with tears, that took her beauty to a whole ‘nother level. I also remember how every time she saw me she ran to me, only to tell me about her day. I remember this one time, she was sitting on the side walk when we were thirteen and once I got home I saw her running towards me with tears in her eyes, and she hugged me. Wanting to get away from whatever that has upset her. I hugged her real tight and I gave her a promise. I said, “I promise, one day will come when you will never cry again; not because there won’t be anything that bothers you, but because I will be there for you”. From that moment on, I knew. I knew that I had to do everything to make her happy. But… ever since her mother’s accident I’ve never really spoken to her. I want to, but I never feel like she does. Does she love me back? I want to know. How does she remember me? Am I that knight in shining armor she used to imagine when we were children, or am I that monster that does nothing but scare her. I probably always write this; only because I believe that it will happen. It must happen. One day that girl will be mine, to love and to cherish. To protect from all evil and to keep a smile on that lovely face…
Nothing, and I mean nothing in this world is as gentle and as beautiful as she is. Her eyes, those big black eyes, were as beautiful as a dark night full of stars, Her skin, as soft as a baby’s cheek, and Her voice, a fine musical symphony. Love by all means was meant for her, and I by all means am in love with her.


His name was Mansoor, and Hadeel, has taken over his mind.

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Friday, August 10, 2012

Something Out Of Nowhere -2-


I never really understood it. Losing someone I mean, until I experienced it myself. People told me how horrible it was, even people who came to give their condolences told me how they knew how I felt. Do they really? How could they if they’re not me? How could they truly understand what I was and still am going through? Although I sometimes think that time heals all wounds, I also sometimes think that it’s almost impossible. I can’t forget.
My name is Hadeel. I have grown up to be the perfect daughter, the one who looks out for her family, and the one who would cook and clean whenever needed, yet now I feel so empty, i feel like whatever I do in this house makes no sense anymore. my father. He always tried his best to keep us well and healthy, but I can see it in his eyes. He’s tired. He wants everything to be over with. He wants us to grow up so fast so that he wouldn’t have to take care of us anymore. He wakes up everyday with the same face expression, with the same look in his eyes, he’s weary and he can’t take it anymore. He works at a very well known law firm; well he’s the owner. After losing the love of his life, his life turned into his work. As much as he tries to keep us happy, as much as we can feel the distance between him and us. Its like he can’t face us after she died. As weird as it sounds, I actually feel like he’s moving on faster than we are but in a path that is totally wrong. He’s barely home, and when he is, he tries his best to make us feel like he IS there, when he’s really not. Well, not with his mind at least.
My brother is the eldest. He’s 24 and graduated a year ago from university with a not very great mark. But still, the fact that he was able to continue that year was what I call wondrous. Maybe because he wasn’t that close to her as we were. But yet, it took him a long time to get over the horrible accident. I can’t say that I am very fond of my brother. Maybe because am really not. Although I should thank him, he has shown me a glimpse of hell on earth. That was mean, wasn’t it? But unfortunately true. Ever since he became seventeen I was suddenly not allowed to go out with my friends unless he said it’s ok, or I was not allowed to go out without a sheila even though my parents were fine with it. I never understood him really. Maybe, just maybe this is his own way of caring and trying to show it. What a weird way. As a child he was the kid who always got upset over the silliest reasons, and now once he’s all grown up… I can still see it.  Of course I love him, he’s my brother. BUT, I am not particularly crazy about him. We are what we are I guess.
Now we come to my little sister. I must say, she has the cutest laugh I have ever heard, and the prettiest eyes in the world. Her eyes? She takes after my mother. Big hazel eyes, with thick lashes and eyebrows. I’m pretty sure she’ll break some hearts once she’s all grown up. And well me? Just an extremely stubborn girl that can never get over her mother’s death. It just seems like every time I think about it, I can still hear her screaming, Hoping that someone will somehow help her, and when someone finally did. It was just too late. I loved her so much. The one person who ever understood me. I mean really understood me, was gone. I still go to my parents room sometimes, just sit there and cry. Hoping that somehow she would come back, but as we all know, that’s never going to happen.
Mum, wherever you are. Near, far. Looking over me or not. I love you, I miss you, and I need you so much.


She sat by the window just like every night writing in here diary, hoping that someday things would change for her and she would be happy, Genuinely happy. And just like every night, he sat by his window watching her write from afar, just wishing that he could do something to make her happy, To see her smile. But alas, he couldn’t. So, he just sat there looking at her and when she was finished he put his hand on the window as if reaching to her and said “One day Hadeel. One day.” 


Comment, let me know what you think.
Copy Rights Reserved To Sulfur AlSayegh.







Thursday, August 9, 2012

Something Out Of Nowhere -1-


An action. As simple as it can be, it may just change your life forever. Hard to believe? Okay, here’s an example. Just imagine walking into the grocery store and when you’re just about to check something out it falls, someone helps you with it. Your eyes meet, fireworks go off all around you, hearts start flying in the air. Then, you realize that you have met that one person that is able to change your life forever. Still don’t believe me? Here’s another example, you’re walking and you may not notice the cars all around you. You step off that sidewalk, the same sidewalk that if you have stepped off of only 2 seconds later everything might’ve been different, but here you are stepping off when a car comes racing towards you and BOOM! Your life changes.
Many people say that life changes only because we change or because we cause it or want it to change. But that’s not true. Things may happen when you least expect them. Things that you may not have done in a thousand years if you actually thought about it, but because of the fact that you did not think about it, they happened. Wow, can you imagine? Going through life not knowing what comes next? That’s hard to imagine, one second you’re laughing and enjoying your time and the next you might not even be there.
The beach. Some may say that the beach is very soothing, and to be honest that’s what I used to think from the moment I was born until 2 years ago. I used enjoy it so much, I hung out with my cousins, friends and family at the beach. Not ever thinking that something may go wrong. Until that day that turned all my family’s life upside down. A day in which I thought I wouldn’t survive. That same day that I thought I may never smile again. She was taken from me then. The most precious thing I have, the most precious creature in this universe was taken from me. Was it my fault? I always wonder. Or was it just meant to be, cruel fate they called it. Me? I call it wrong place at the wrong time. A perfect description for such a horrifying moment. Now imagine this, what is the most thing you love? Imagine it being taken from you and there’s nothing you can do about it. It hurts, not only me, but also every single person in my family, Or if I should even call it that. Not a day passes by when I don’t think about it. How horrible it was, how I felt every second of it, and how from that moment on, my family was no longer a family by all means. It was a bunch of people, who were blood related.
Death. It comes in the least expected moments. Not caring whether you’re a child, a grownup, a mother, a father. It just does what it’s supposed to. It sucks the soul out of your body and leaves your body there on earth. For people to grief, for them to never forget you, and to visit you always. But then, even that body is gone. Leaving no trace of your existence. Death. This is what it does. It separates families, breaks hearts, and causes a lot of sadness. But in the end, that’s what they call fate. And I, hadeel, believe in it.


*Leave your comments, let me know what you think*

Friday, July 6, 2012

I Don't Love You *


* I Don't Love You *

Forgive me my darling
For what was said
I love you? Not really
But in love with you I am

As lonely as I was
And as lost as I felt
You have found me now
You have rescued this little lamb

Look at me now
I am different than how I was
I am thankful for everything
Even for changing my plans

You have taken my soul
All Around the world
Not flying though
But hand in hand

I don’t love you
As big as the world
Not even as much as the stars
I love you my darling
As much as the grains of sand

For everything
You gave to me
I am forever in your debt
I love you, my darling
Like there are no others in the land 


Xoxo, Sulfur Al Sayegh
This poem has been inspired by someone very close. Thank You <3 

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Tell Them*

Heyy y'all .. this a  break from the story until they get me my hard disk so i could finish part 4 x_x 


anyways Enjoy ;*




Tell The World i Have a Broken Heart
Tell The Songs To Drip Of Pain 
Tell The Hearts To break apart
& Tell The People i'm Going insane. 


Ur Soft kisses Filled with Venom 
The Words U Say Drizzle Of Lies
Ur Sweet Deadly HugS break me down 
All i'm left with are loud loud Cries 

Before u stab me, Sing that song
That i love for you to sing 
Put that dagger in my back
Let me feel that Killing Sting

Let that memory of you make me smile
When i take that very last breath
When u push it even deeper 
Let me enjOy that lovely death.

Friday, March 19, 2010

*Monologue*

The Land Of Dreams~*
Every night I rest my head on the pillow listening to the lullaby you used to sing to me, drifting away to dream land, dreaming of what has been & what could’ve been. I love you, always have and always will. Remembering every touch, every word & every smile. Now it’s all feels like I was in a really good dream which I wish to go back to. A dream where everything felt so real. The way you hugged & the way you kissed made me feel like nothing can ever go wrong. Now I can’t tell the difference between reality and the illusion. I’m confused, bewildered, lost. I want you, I need you, I scream your name every night during my sleep. I acted so strong. But finally, I surrender.
“I NEED YOU”

Sunday, February 21, 2010

*Monologue*

You look at me, with tears filling my eyes. You smile and walk away. I rustle "I Love You" but the words give no meaning to you, those flawless words which I carry within me. You leave me crushed, love wrecked. Filled with sorrow, feeling degraded. Would you laugh at my death? Am I so invaluable to you.
I walk down the lane of love, collecting the debris of my heart. Searching For the light, which i see within your eye. But, No point. You broke me!=)

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Parts Of me*

Well Mmm .. He's Somthing new. its not a poem, but u can call it a love monologue i guess. Anywayz if you like it tell me, if you dont i'll stop writing those stuff =P
........................................................................................................................................................................


Parts Of me

My Brain?
Every part of my brain thinks of you, dreams of you, your face, the way you touch.



Me?
Ever part of me longs for your touch.


My ears?
Both my ears are dying to hear your voice, the sound of your breath.


My lips?
Thirst for yours, for the way you kiss.


My nose?
It craves for your smell, your marvelous smell.


My eyes?
They would go blind till the day they see you.


My hair?
It misses the way your fingers would go through it.


My hands?
Would press tightly imagining your hands with mine.


My neck?
It covets the touch of your lips.


And well, My heart?
Every heartbeat screams your name. My heart is the place you’re at. My heart loves you more than it loved anyone else before.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Part 20-* (FINALE)

Hey, just wanted to thank all the people who encouraged me to finish my story. This is the finale, and i asure you i woll not stop writing .. wait for ma next story.. Love you all (L) thnxx again .. & enjoy.. (L)

After 30 long minutes of waiting the doctor came out of the room and came to talk to me. I couldn’t tell whether it was good or bad news from his expressions, his face was so still. I wanted to read his expressions so badly so that I wouldn’t get shocked or anything. Finally, he stood in front of me.

“Mrs. AlX, I can honestly say that throughout my whole life as a doctor, I have never seen someone so determined to get healed like your husband. When I asked him for a reason he said that he just wants to see the smile upon your face again, And that he wants you to be happy with him. I really wish you the best of luck in your life. Owh and I did all the necessary tests for your husband and he will be able to walk by tomorrow, he just needs to rest” he said with a smile looming on his face.

“Omg, really?! Thanks a lot doctor!!” I said thankful

“No worries, am just doing my job here.” He said as he left.

I turned around and faced the door with a wide grin on my face, I entered the room and kissed mayeds forehead. “Did you hear the good news?”


“Yeah I heard babe, come here” He put out his arm. I walked as fast as I can to his bed, and just laid there next to him. My head on his chest, so I could hear every heart beat, and remind myself that everything’s amazing while I’m with him. His arms around me, protecting me from everything in this world. There we were Me, Mayed, and his heart beats. And before I knew it I fell asleep in his arms.


1 Year Later ~



There I was standing in what I never saw myself in. A white dress, as white as a pure soul could be. I gazed at myself in the mirror, admiring the work done by the professionals that made me look flawless. My hair looked perfect, my makeup was more than amazing, and my dress, well my dress needs a whole story that talks about it. I felt scared, this is it. This is the night where everything happens. I’d be leaving home tonight, a place I lived in my whole life, to go live with the love of my life under one roof, and make a family of our own. Tonight, I would sleep with his arms around me, holding me tight. Tonight, everyone would start thinking of me as a grownup, a woman. I turned around as soon as I heard the knock on the door. My mother, 7mdoh, and 79a barged in like I wasn’t even there, n they all froze. My mother’s eyes were filled with tears the moment she laid eyes on me. And well, my sister and my best friend stood there looking at me like they’ve just seen a ghost. They all came up to me and gave me a group hug, which made me feel a bit relaxed.

“Mom come on, you’ll ruin your makeup” I said while wiping her tears.

“I can’t help it, you look too pretty. Mashalla, Allah yb3ed 3anch il 7sad.” She started mourning.

“Mama 7abeebty, it’s not like you’ll never see me again, bayee ba7shrch kilyoum fel bait, w I’ll get my kids to annoy you with me.” I said, laughing at how my mom was so dramatic about it.

She gave me a light hit on my shoulder. My mom n I are very close even though I was the younger daughter. “Stop laughing, it’s not funny you’re getting married and leaving me alone at home” she cried even harder.

“E7M E7M, and where was I exactly gonna live?” said 79oo9, with an annoyed expression on her face.

“Owh I mean, leaving me with 79a at home” She corrected. We all laughed about it. I helped my mother fix her makeup and hair after all the drama she did.

“We’ll come back to get you down when it’s time” said 7amdoh, followed by a very tight hug.
“’okay” I hugged her back.


They left, and I sat there thinking. Wondering, how will my prince look tonight? Will this night be exactly as I imagined it, Or would it turn into total chaos? *hopefully not* I thought to myself. I started flipping through the magazines I found on the table just to pass time, and before I knew it half an hour had passed, it was now 10:15pm. There was 2 knocks on the door and then I heard my sister say “Its time!” Omg, this is it. I got up, got my final look in the mirror and open the door. I took a deep breath and started walking slowly until I faced the door of the hall. The hall, in which all my dreams will come true. The doors gradually opened, for me to see that gleam that was concentrated on me. I couldn’t see the place, everything around me was vague. Until I moved forward, Everything started getting clearer, my mother standing right in front of me crying *as usual* my sister and 7amdoh helping me with my dress. And I suddenly realized, am scared. What if I Trip over a wire or something? What if mayed doesn’t like the way I looked? I felt this sudden urge to cry. The music filled the hall with emotions. Every woman in the place whispered to the one next to her, every single eye was looking at me, and only me. I felt like I owned the place, like I was the queen. It was perfect.

Everything went by smoothly, with no problems none what so ever, and I couldn’t wait for the time to see him. My friends came up to me and started chatting and making fun about the fact that I’m not free anymore, n I can’t do whatever I want. We all laughed and enjoyed ourselves. While everyone ate dinner, n talked, 7mdoh came and sat with me for entertainment. After dinner, my sister told me that he’s coming, my mayed. That’s when my heart started pounding like crazy. I felt so nervous that I looked hilarious on stage.

“How do I look? Should I hold this here or here? No wait does my hair look ok? I’m supposed to stand here right? Will he like my make up?” I asked nervously all the questions that I could think of.

Everyone around me laughed at my reaction.

“Relax sis, your look gorgeous as always” said 79oo9 as she gave me a light hit on my arm.

“Hey hey dun touch the bride, hhhhh” 7amdoh said defensive.

“Ok shush you guys, they’re here. Common let’s get off the stage” 79oh said talking to 7amdoh.
“No no dun leave me here!” I said nervously.


“Bye hun, good luck” 79oh winked at me as she left.

The music started, n I could feel the beat though my chest. The door slowly opened, and I saw him. The most gorgeous person I’ve ever laid eyes on. My baby. He was slowly walking towards me with his head down. With his father walking next to him. And when he got to the stairs, that’s when he looked up to see me.


Mayeds perspective~

I was nervous, couldn’t walk straight n I could hear my father saying some stuff to calm me down, but I didn’t pay much attention. All I cared about was my princess, the princess that I waited my whole life for. I walked with my head down, I couldn’t look at anyone, the only person I wanted to see was her, my wife. As soon as I got to the stairs, I lifted up my head n I froze. My father pulled my elbow to help me walk, n I did but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. The way she smiled when she saw me was luminous. Finally, she’ll be living with me. The love of my life will be with me, now n forever. I promised myself that I would never let anyone hurt this divine creature, who am sure is not human. An angel maybe, but not human. The sight of that angelic face, made my heart go wild. I got to her, and I had this stupid smile on my face that showed that I was speechless, amazed. I kissed her forehead very gently and her cheek turned into the finest shade of pink. Then we sat and indulged every moment of our wedding together with her hand holding on tightly to mine. We laughed, we talked, and we both couldn’t believe that this day finally came. After chatting for a while, we got up to cut the cake. She held the knife and I held her hand, we cut the cake slowly and gave each other some of it.

The wedding was over; everyone came to wish us a great life together and to take pictures. When no one was left except for my family and hers, I suggested that we should go eat our dinner upstairs. I carried her effortlessly upstairs like a baby, my one and only baby. We ate our dinner, while I sank into the depth of her eyes, her enchanting eyes. I got up as soon as we finished dinner, grabbed her hand n I was on my knees.

“May I Have this Dance?”I asked.

“well of course you may” She replied, shy.

I lifted her up and started slow dancing with no music on, just us. Then I Held her hand and lead her to the bedroom. I threw her on the bed and laid there next to her. I pulled her very closely to my body, and very gently kissed her delicate lips.

“You are finally mine forever and nothing could ever change that. I love you”




Hinds perspective~

I felt something that I never have felt before, a feeling of something I can’t even explain. I loved him, I would die for him, I would take a bullet for him. He was my world, my oxygen, my EVERYTHING!

“I love you more baby” I replied as I fell asleep in his arms.



Today was a fairytaleYou were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the wayToday was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around
Yeah yeah
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale.
THE END
(LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Part 19-*

Y'all Might hate me For it =P.. Enjoy


Something’s wrong. I’ve been sitting in the same place for 2 hours, he hasn’t called, hasn’t texted, it was very weird. I can feel it; something was wrong. We were supposed to meet half an hour ago, he didn’t show up. His mobile is off. My heart is racing; I can feel the sweat on my forehead, my face burning up. Am I worried? No, I’m Terrified! Where could he be? Did he forget that he was supposed to pick me up? No, no way he never forgets! Suddenly, out of nowhere, My Blackberry starts Ringing. *weird number* I thought to myself. I don’t usually answer weird number, but I got this unbelievable feeling that I have to answer this one. I answered.

“Aloo” I said still terrified, I felt like something really bad was about to happen.

“Il salaam 3laaikm, m3ay Hind AlX?” The voice Said, with a very serious tone.

“Haih n3am, mnoo m3ay?” I replied, as I started to get even more worried.

“Ism7eeli i5ty abali’3ch, raylich sawa 7adeth mn shwai, w hoo al7een fel 3naya il morakaza fe mstashfa Rashid” Everything after that faded away.

My whole world fell apart, my heart shattered into million bits. The warm tears suddenly felt like they belong on my face. I couldn’t feel anything around me; I couldn’t see what’s in front of me. I just ran to the car since I had my license now. I let out a loud scream as soon as I sat in it. I drove as fast as I can to the hospital. And as soon as I got there, I parked in the nearest empty park I could find, n just sat there. In shock. I threw my tears off my face and took a deep breath in disbelieve. I got out of the car and ran to the counter and asked the woman about mayed. She showed me the way to his room. I started running as fast as I can to the room and when I got there, I just froze. I stared at the door and tears started pouring down my face. I put one hand on the door, and I suddenly felt his pain. This gush of emotions moved right through me. When a sudden touch on my shoulder startled me. I turned around to see the doctor standing right behind me.

“Mrs. AlX?” he asked.

“Yeah” I replied whipping my tears off my face.

“Your Husband is in a really tough position, his accident really affected his spinal cord, and unfortunately he has only 20% of regaining his ability to walk, I’m sorry” he said with a sad tone.

“No, please tell me you are messing with me. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS ALL A PRANK!” I said while shaking the doctor n screaming.

He placed his hand on my shoulder and Said “I’m Sorry” And Left.

All I was left with was pain, heartache, and Misery. I turned to face the door; I slowly placed my hand on the knob and opened the door. The pipes sticking through his body, were like knifes sticking through my heart. Didn’t know how to think, didn’t find enough oxygen to breathe. I wanted to be in his place, I wanted to be the one who was in that accident, NOT HIM!! I walked slowly towards the bed, and grasped his hand tenderly.

“You promised never to leave me, you promised to stay by my side till the end of time, you promised that our wedding will be the biggest wedding anyone had ever witnessed. YOU PROMISED! You cant leave me now, please don’t. I need You, Plz. I need you so much” I started pleading as I kissed his hand. Tears rolling off my face and landing on his palm.

Three days passed with no news, no movement, no improvement. I wouldn’t leave the side of his bed, his hand, the sight of his face. I brushed my finger gently on his face, and kissed his cheek. “Come on Mayed, you’re stronger than this, I know you are. You can’t leave me. Everyone lost hope, but I didn’t. I simply know that you are stronger than this and that you’ll wake up. I need you to!”. I felt a sudden twitch in his hand. I looked at him very slowly hoping that that twitch was a sign that he is waking up, I stared at him for 2 whole minutes. Then, the most gorgeous face I had ever layed eyes on moved. He struggled to open his eyes, and to move his lips to talk but no point. I craved for his voice. I needed to hear it, I needed him to tell me that everything will be alright. I put my palm gently on his face, that’s when he moved his hand and placed it over mine on his face.

“You’re here.” He said in a jaded voice.

“Of course babe, I promised not to leave you, didn’t I?” I replied with tears filling my eyes.

“I’m so sorry; I’m very late to pick you up. I couldn’t wait to see you; I couldn’t wait to see those eyes, this nose, and those lips. I sped up, n all this happened. I’m sorry!” He turned his face the other way so he wouldn’t have to face me.

I Held his face, and turned it back to me. “Don’t you ever do that to me again!” I said while crying.

“I Love you babe” he brushed his finger across my face to wipe my tears.

“I’m crazy about you 7yati.” He gave me the smile I’ve been longing to see, the smile that kept me strong all this time.

After talking for a while, we heard a knock on the door. The doctor came in with a big smile on his face.

“Hello Mr. sleepy, you got the misses here all worried about you. You know, if you wanted attention you could’ve just got her flowers” we all laughed after being miserable for so long.

“Mr. AlX, now that you woke up, we have to do a couple of tests to see that you are completely fine. Because, the accident like I told your wife affected your spinal cord in a bad way. Unfortunately you have only 20% of regaining your ability to walk. So, let’s get you started for check up. And Mr. AlX would you like to wait outside a bit?” The doctor said, very confident.

“Ok, I love you baby” I Said as I looked at my husband.

“Love you too 7beebty” he winked at me, and turned to see the doctor.

After 30 long minutes of waiting the doctor came out of the room and came to talk to me. I couldn’t tell whether it was good or bad news from his expressions, his face was so still.
LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS (K)